Full Service

"We keep the bodies back in the deep freeze till they're good and crunchy," he said. "Then, when the family comes for the viewing, we pull 'em out and let 'em defrost a little. Then there's no smell but that dry, deep-freeze kind of smell."

"That's good to know," I said. "No smell. But do you have an example of a time you provided outstanding customer service?"

"Well," he said, "I get no complaints."

"Do you have an example though? Something that will make a good blurb? For the website?"

"We never had anyone leave here any deader than when they came in. And that's not something the Herman Brothers' Parlor can say. They're always having more dead leave than what came in that way. We came close once. An old lady started having a heart attack when she saw her son laid out - but we got her out to the parking lot and over the property line before she kicked it."

"Not sure if that's good for the website," I said, "but I'll see what I can do with it."